Relatively Minor
Laughter does not have to come from a major source. It could indeed be ... relatively minor.
Twas The Night Before Christmas
(The “Relatively Minor” version)
Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house
Not a creature was stirring ... that snoring was my spouse!!
The stockings were not hung by the chimney with care—
They were still in the dryer ... WHO LEFT THEM THERE!?
One dog was nestled all snug in my bed,
The other in a kennel on her back, legs outspread.
Buried under numerous blankets, due to the winter crap,
We all bedded down for a well-deserved nap.
When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
I yelled at the dogs, “Quit barking! There’s nothing the matter.”
The full moon above with its vibrant white glow
Cast a bright light on trees and snow down below.
When what to my wondering eyes should appear,
Yup, it was Santa’s sleigh and those darn reindeer.
Santa, his suit all red velvet with white,
Called out reindeer names, eight of them that night.
He said their names loud so they would understand,
Listen, I am Santa! This Christmas, I’m the man!
Now, Dasher! Now, Dancer! Now, Prancer and Vixen!
(Hmm, Vixen ... that must be a female reindeer?)
On, Comet! On, Cupid! On, Donner and Blitzen!
Santa steadily guided the sleigh towards the roof.
The reindeer set down, first right then left hoof.
One reindeer lost his balance, but, was able to right—
Wouldn’t be good to drop a sleigh of toys at midnight.
As I stood there in awe of what was abound,
I realized we had no chimney for Santa to come down.
I thought for a moment, then a moment more,
I would just motion him over to the front door.
I opened the door laughing, in spite of myself,
In front of me stood Santa, the jolly old elf.
I apologized for the inconvenience: no fireplace to come down.
He said, “No problem!” as he put his sack on the ground.
Santa didn’t speak much as he went to work,
I told him the stockings were still in the dryer. (I felt like a jerk.)
He paused for a moment, then looked straight at me.
Santa had noticed we didn’t have a tree!
He said, “Listen to me tonight, young miss, and take heed,
Christmas isn’t about all the stuff you get,
It’s about sharing, caring, and acts of good deed.”
As he sprang to his sleigh on the eve of the 25th,
He said, “This year, friends and family
Will be your most treasured gift!
Merry Christmas to all, and to all a great night!”
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